Today at 2:59 p.m. I was asked to come take a look at one of our printers. “It’s jammed pretty badly”, the librarian said. I walked out to find tray 2 laying on the table and 1/2 a sheet of paper, minus a corner hanging out from the tray slot. I say minus a corner, because the corner of the paper had been ripped of when someone tried to yank the paper out backwards from the printer. HP Printers, actually most printers, don’t like you running the paper backwards through the paper path. I opened up the printer and removed the toner cartridge, lifted the access panel and gently pulled the sheet of paper forward through the paper path to remove it. Because this printer has a duplexer I knew I would have to clear the previous sheet of paper from the duplexer as well. So I turned the printer a little more than it was and as I reached to remove the duplexer I stopped in horror. The right side plastic housing of the duplexer had a huge crack in it. The rear access door was hanging by its springs, and the top spring loaded paper guide was wedged down as far as it could go. I stood there for a moment staring blankly at the carnage. I then gingerly removed the poor abused piece of equipment from the printer and held back the urge to use it to club any person in the immediate vicinity. I then reseated the toner cartridge, closed the top, and reset the printer and carried the poor victim of senseless idiocy back to my desk. On the way I stopped by the reference desk to proclaim the loss of a dear friend.
Somehow I don’t think they quite understood. 😦
After a few moments of silent anguish, I called the hardware person to see if there was any chance she had a replacement duplexer. As luck would have it she thought she did. I was then informed I could pick it up tomorrow. I returned to my regular duties in somber fashion often pausing to contemplate the many ways one could avenge the untimely and barbaric death of a duplexer. After a passing examination my brilliant co-hort deduced that the poor hapless duplexer had most likely been dropped. Reexamining the extent of the damage I agreed. I placed the poor creature back on a shelf unwilling to confine it to the murky depths of the trash can.
As the day passed on and I sat working late a madness swept over me. A charge was building in the air, and with the near perfect timing of a windows XP BSOD I was unleashed. I swooped upon the poor lifeless duplexer, tools in hand muttering to myself “WE CAN REBUILD HIM!!!” Lets see… Remove this screw… and those 5… this housing comes off…
Lay that piece there… carefully now….
…Another screw and the next layer of mechanics gingerly released to reveal to my relief a control board in perfect physical condition.
A little prying here, and this housing comes off…
A little pressure there.. and there… and that paper guide releases…
I worked like a creature possessed… Never before had I seen the inner workings of this device… yet my hands felt guided by the gods of technology, unwilling to let this duplexer fall to the wayside…
a few more tabs released and the final housing came off revealing the bent and twisted carnage of the frame that once supported the gears, motor and other mechanics…
I turned to the tool of last resort… the mighty hammer of punishment… surly this will help…
carefully I applied just the right impact in just the right places…
with my pliers I reformed the corners responsible for holding the rear door hinge in place…
My hammer carefully removed the dents preventing the upper paper path from moving…
The motor and gears realigned…
The frame once again took its original shape…
Carefully I bent and tweaked metal until the frame resembled its original state…
Then every so carefully, piece by piece I reassembled the patient… Screw by screw the various parts were returned to their original places…
A little cleaning fluid here, a wipe down there and the rubber paper rollers returned to their original texture, no longer did they posses the shine of ground in paper dust.
Six more screws and the operation was concluded.
Now… the moment of truth… I solemnly made my way towards the printer. Preying that this poor soul had been able to make a trip back form the netherworld…
I powered down the printer…
I turned the printer 90 degrees so that I could better see the gaping cavity in which the duplexer should reside.
I carefully and cautiously inserted my patient into its home. With no undue resistance the duplexer slid into place with a satisfying *click*.
I powered on the printer…
The seconds of the power on self test moved by at a snails pace… Each second feeling as if it had been a century passing by…
Finally the display read the words of hope… “Ready”
I clicked the print button on the nearest workstation and held my breath…
With a *whirr* the printer came to life, drawing the paper from its bottommost tray. I listened, picturing in my mid the path of the paper as it wound its way up through the drum, through the fuser into the duplexer. A *click* and the duplexer sprang to life flipping the page over with perfect accuracy. It fed it back into the drum and back through the fuser to emerge moments later a fully duplexed page.
Fearing this was but a taunt I quickly printed 10 more pages… Each page duplexed as if it was the 1st page ever printed. Only one final touch remained a badge of honor, a signal of the courage of this poor victim of senseless destruction. I ever so carefully placed a band-aid over the crack in the case.
I returned the printer to its resting place and rejoiced. SUCCESS!!!