B Movie nonsense again

Ahhh, Sci-Fi…  What ever would the world do without a constant supply of bad B movies.

Skeleton Man…  Read on if you dare…

wow, what cheese…I think they came across a sale on bloodpacks…  everyone spews gallons of blood everywhere even when stabbed by a hunting knife. And honeslty how many times are you going to re-use the footage of a blood splattering on a tree?

I was really confused by the, wait, was there a plot? I couldn’t tell… Not to mention continuity…

Now thats a horse of a different color… no really it is… skeleton mans horse changes color…  shhhh… no one will notice….

Ohhh guys firing on skeleton man in the woods… skeleton man warps off frame using his magic wormhole of doom… skeleton man decides to blow up a semi trailer full of gasoline or other flammable material…  Don’t worry folks the driver lives after the semi explodes… I mean for a minute or two.. they did have to use more of the blood they bought… Weee more blood splatter…

Oh hey the cameraman got brave and rode Skeleton mans horse for a minute… Bad idea…  I don’t think steadycams are designed to handle the bounce from a horse galloping….
Neat, who knew peoples heads pop off like they are made from latex foam…  Oh look another Halloween prop I recognize right down to the sections of spine coming form the neck…  Really now, what was the budget for this movie? $1000? (nine hundred of that spent on blood) IMDB says it was $2,300,000… what a waste of a nice 2 Mil…
Oh and again with the continuity…

One minute you’re watching a number of military guys and gals firing round after round into a grim reaper wanna-be.  The next the skeleton ghost thing is massacring all the workers of a chemical plant that I don’t think was even shown before. Then you are back to the woods… What gives?  Why was that scene there?  I’m confused…
OHHHH  Thank you movie… I see now, it was just convenient to have the indestructible skeleton thing go do something else for a minute…

Oh nope, thats not it now I see, he had to go into the chemical plant so hero guy could trap him…  Skeleton Man’s writer must have forgotten about the magic wormhole of doom… that or it can’t work through concrete…  Or maybe the plot hole so large you could drive a mac truck through got filed up by the exploding mac truck.. yeah that’s got to be it…
Hero: “Cut the power Hal”
Plant worker Hal: “Powering down sir… Ok Powers off”
Me: Ok, so if the power is off… then why is the underground building still lit?
Oh lets talk costume for a minute…  I’m pretty sure I saw the ghosts cloak for $5 at Halloween… no wait thats not true, the Halloween costumes look better.  I swear this whole cloak was made of nylon or perhaps black plastic. Ohhh shiney…    Not to mention there is an obvious wire frame in the front of the hood to keep it stiff so the oh so scary skeleton mask could be seen.  I swear my $30 flying skeleton is more believable than  the costume for this movie.
Also I forgot to mention, from this movie learned that trees burst into showers of sparks when shot. Shhhh don’t tell myth busters… I also learned that assult weapons can mysteriously switch from semi-automatic to fully automatic depending on who is holding them…

Can I request that SciFi NEVER air this again… please…  Why not something good like… Manos Hand of Fate…  or Santa Clause conquers the Martians… I men at least that has the catchy “Hoo-ray for santy clause!” song…  Or better yet! SPACE MUTINY!!!  Heck I’d even settle for the AI Assult movie, and that one left me wanting to gouge my eyes out…

Oh well, bed time… I won’t spoil the ending for you…   Oh ok, just a little…  It left things open for a sequel!!! Yup they rewound the credits… no seriously… they rewound them.. it looks like they taped a VCR rewinding….and then tacked on a scene…

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