Row, Row, Row yer kids…

I had another most memorable moment with the oars this weekend. (Best prop I ever bought) I was rowing along, and I rowed past a family 1/2 dressed as pirates, and 1/2 dressed as fairies. As I rowed by, the father shouted, “Hey! Where’s your boat!” I was going to jump into the whole build an imaginary boat bit, but noticed the mother on the phone giving directions to someone as to how to find them, so I realized they wern’t going anywhere for a while. “Well thats a fine question sir, ya see, I find it’s quite difficult ta be gettin a boat to actually row proper in gravel… it just doesn’t work well, and is murder on the hull… He chuckled… at that one of the kids chimed in “well why don’t you just walk???” “Why don’t I just walk… well no thats just crazy talk, beside, it’s much more fun to row”, I responded, channeling my inner Tom Sawyer. “Here would you like to try?” and I held out both oars. The kids all tussled for the opportunity, and before long I had two victims…er… volunteers… One child got in front of me, and the other behind me, and they started paddling. “ROW ROW ROW” I chanted, and we rowed all around the area, finally returning to the parents. “SEE, Told ya rowin much more fun than just plain walkin’, isn’t it?” “YEAH!!!!” the kids responded. In my head I was laughing my ass off… Then some guy come trotting up thinking he was going to be smart… “WHERES YOU BOAT?”, the family burst into laughter, the guy looked at them like they were from mars. I looked over at the one boy who had been rowing, and he had a shit eating grin on his face. I called to him “Tell em lad!”. To my amazement the kid burst to the front of the family, and said “YOU CANT HAVE A SHIP ON GRAVEL!!! IT WILL BREAK!! BESIDES ROWING IS FUN!!!!”

I lost it…

The guy who had asked the question started laughing too and walked away.

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Oar What?

This weekend through a series of comical events involving a number of people… My “oars” are now branded…

On one oar I have the word “KNOT” stamped on one side, with the other side stamped with “ELSE”…
The 2nd oar has the word “WHAT” with the reverse stamped with, “EITHER”…

Yes, yes I AM that crazy…

There’s a ship out, on the… Gravel???

This Saturday at Bristol we had a rain day. Most people tend to hate the rain days, or at least dislike them strongly. Me I kind of like them. I realize they are bad for business, and really cut into the profits, so yeah that’s bad. I still have a lot of fun with them though. As of last year during rain I have taking to rowing myself around the site. It’s pretty funny on its own, and I get tons of people that laugh at the sight of it. Comments are always plentiful, such as “Where’s your boat”, or “Rowing with both oars in the water?”, etc… I tend to make some sort of remark back and we laugh and I row on. As I said this in itself it a lot of fun. However, my FAVORITE thing to do with it is to get other people involved. For example, I happened upon a family walking across the site. There were 3 kids, a mom a dad, and a grandma. They had the obvious look of a group on a mission. So I rowed up along side them and they started laughing, dad began taking pictures.
The mother asked, “Where’s your boat?”
“What are ye blind? `Tis right here…”
“Oh, Oh… ooooffff course… I see…” , the kids laughed… (I’m pretty sure they could see it just fine)
“Well, since we are headed in the same direction, why don’t you climb on board”
more laughs, “oh.. ok.. sure…”
So we started walking again mostly in a line, dad to the side getting more pictures….
“So, now that yer on board… tis time to be giving ye yer duities”
the kids looked at me like I had just assigned a book report on War and Peace over spring break…
“You m’lady, since you are in front, you shall be the figurehead”, she chuckled again and with a smile we continued to walk.
“Oh, these are treacherous waters, we are going to need a gunner, you there lad…”, I pointed to the youngest of the children, a boy about 5 years old, “When I say so you fire the cannons, with a big loud BOOM, can you do that?” he nodded. “Alright, lets hear ya!” “BOOOM!!!”, he shouted at the top of his lungs. Mom dad and grandma laughed. We continued “sailing”
“Oh dear, it’s hard to see… we need us a lookout! You lass, you are now our lookout!”, she looked at me quizically. “You look out for rocks and thing, so put your hands up to yer eyes and look like this…”, I put my hand up flat as if i were blocking the bright sun. She followed suit. “Good lass you got it” We took a few more steps…
“FIRE CANNONS!!!”, “BOOOOM!” came the reply followed by laughter from my gunner, and his family
“ARE THERE ROCKS AHEAD LOOKOUT???” “YES!!!” came the reply, for in fact were walking right towards a flowerbed, thank you mom for playing along so well…
“Oh blast, well now what are we to do… AH HA I KNOW!, You lad”, I pointed to the 3rd and oldest child, You’re the helmsman, stear us away form the rocks”, without prompting he reached forward and grabbed the ships wheel and began to navigate us away from the flower bed.
“Good on it lad, fine sailor ya are”
“FIRE CANNONS”, “BOOM”
“ARE THERE ROCKS AHEAD?”, “NOPE!”
“STEADY AS SHE GOES, LAD”
“Now for you m’lady”, I approached the grandmother, all the while still rowing…
“Oh no… just leave me be…” she responded while holding her umbrella up to stay dry, “I’m enjoying this just as it is”, “Well that’s perfect then, because holding your parasol like that, you make the perfect mast for the ship…” , She chuckled, and dad snapped a photo.
“FIRE CANNONS!!!” , “BOOM!!!”, followed by more laughter
“Are we headed towards the restroom?”, the mother asked…
“AYE MAM, the privys be just ahead on yer left, in the white building with blue trim”
“Thank you!”
“Well, with that I think I shall leave you, you have a fine ship here, and have safe travels, do enjoy the rest of your day”
“FIRE CANNON!!!”, “BOOOM!!!!!”

I love it when something just works…

Thank you A-E, I kinda owe this bit to her, and the one day of rehearsals I attended last year… this is sort of my take on the great machine bit… I just focused it a bit more to suit my needs…