Illinois Government

Illinois government has a long way to go yet. I’m happy that Pat Quinn is in the office now, and I hope he can indeed pull off his desire to clean up the government. He’s going to have a rough road ahead of him, but for all of our sakes, I hope he sticks to his guns and really does fumigate the state government.
I was shocked to hear that Rickey Hendon was brazen enough to be caught on CBS news saying, “The biggest challenge that I see for Pat Quinn is to overcome the do-gooder, reformer image. Pat has to know that you have to grease the wheels — that’s the way it works — to get things done around here.”
Holy carp… Has this man not been paying attention to what just happened to Blago?!?!?
Governor Quinn, I think you found your first cockroach to exterminate. As a citizen of Illinois, I do NOT want him to overcome the do-gooder image, keep it up!!! Reform away mon’ capitan! We need it!

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I’m not dead yet…

I found this to be really funny…

“A New York woman told a court she couldn’t serve as an unbiased juror in a cop-slaying trial because she had once been a murder victim.”

Read the full article from UPI, here.

Huh?

I’ll take $20,000,000 to not play football. I’ll take that to not do just about anything…

The “Shit” key

I just happened to glance at my keyboard on my laptop, and noticed that some of the most heavily used keys are starting to have some of the lettering wear off. The funniest one is the right shift key. the final t is completely gone, as is the curl on the top of the “f”, leaving me with a “Shit” key…

Well, I didn’t mob in the first place, so am I ok to remob?

Today as I was leaving the library I noticed one of the simple little yellow “Wet Floor” signs. The strange thing about this one, was that it appeared that some of our crack janitorial staff added a message in magic marker to both sides of the sign…

It appears someone else had the same question I had… “Remob?”

The humor of a dictionary…

I was looking over some server logs, when I noticed a search that had been performed in our catalog that set me to laughing. No granted I realize I have no place to criticize ANYONE for spelling errors, but cut me some slack here, as I found this search quite funny…

Search Term: DICTIONARIE
Results: 0
Search Term: DICTIONARIE
Results: 0

At this point the user must have noticed the catalog tried to fix the spelling for them because the next search did have the word DICTIONARY spelled correctly. Again, I’m the last person who should point out spelling errors, but damn is that funny!

Would you like that on a croissant?

It took me an hour and a half to get to work today, that is approximately double my normal time. The reason for this is I took the long way after hearing on the radio that most back roads were between 100 and 75% unplowed. EWW… One advantage to the long way, is that it takes me past a Dunkin’ Donuts. So, after 50 minutes of driving at a snails pace on roads that were pretty well plowed (ok, probably 40% clear) I pulled into the drive-in. I personally wasn’t really in the mood for donuts, but I order an assorted dozen for work. I then order a “sausage Omelet Bagel Sandwich”. The voice on the other end of the speaker then asked, “Did you want that on a coissant or a bagel?” I blinked imagining a bagel wrapped inside a croissant… “Bagel please” “Do you want sausage or bacon?” At this point I became even more confused, and began to question my sanity. What part of a sausage omelet bagel sandwich would not cover whether or not I wanted sausage or bacon, and croissant or bagel?

Dial 0 for “DUH”

Ok, this just happened to me… Holy recursive loop batman…

I dial a support number, the auto attendant answers, “Thank you for calling ____ our hours of operation are ___, please dial your party’s extension, or wait on the line for support”
I wait
The phone rings…
The phone rings…
The auto attendant picks up “Extension ….0…. is invalid, please press 0 to speak to an operator.”
ok… I’ll bite… I press 0
The phone rings…
The phone rings…
The auto attendant picks up “Extension ….0…. is invalid, please press 0 to speak to an operator.”

I’m not falling for that one again…

A new term…

A quote:

“(s)he doesn’t speak in stream of consciousness… (s)he speaks in retention pond of consciousness”

Thinking about it, a stream tends to imply they are going somewhere with what they are saying… This conversation was definitely not going anywhere… therefore retention pond… hehehe I like it…

No Boom today, Boom tomorrow…

Last night while driving back from NC we stopped to fill the gas tank at a Pilot gas station outside of Indianapolis. The station appeared to be clean, and well lit and well maintained. As we pulled in I noticed a maintenance person for the station out at one of the pumps cleaning the pump. I was mildly impressed… at first. I stepped out of the vehicle and glanced over in the direction of the maintenance worker. As I did I thought I saw him flick a cigarette butt onto the ground, but I realized how stupid that had to be, and assumed I must have just imagined it. Still, I commented to Harold, “hey was that guy smoking?” Harold and I both glanced over to see the maintenance worker reach into his pocket and pull out and light a fresh cigarette and then resume his cleaning of the gas pump. “That would be a yes!” Harold quickly finished filling the tank while I grabbed some water and we got the hell out of there before there could be a BOOM.

People scare me.